Ranking the Poltergeist Movies – From “They’re Heeere” to Please Make Them Go Away
There are haunted house movies… and then there’s Poltergeist. The film that made an entire generation terrified of static on the TV, creepy trees outside the bedroom window, and clowns that move when you’re not looking. Released in 1982 and somehow branded PG (seriously, what was going on with the ratings board back then?), Poltergeist was a massive hit. It came with Spielbergian charm, Tobe Hooper direction (depending on who you ask), and more ghostly chaos than a Halloween house party at Beetlejuice’s place.
The film was so iconic it spawned two sequels, each more bananas than the last, and then, as all 80s horror eventually must, a remake no one really asked for, featuring a drone, Sam Rockwell, and some deeply upsetting clown doll redesigns.
So, before you even think about buying a house with suspiciously cheap pricing and zero previous tenant info, let us guide you through the Poltergeist films, ranked from worst to best. Don’t look into the light, stay away from your vintage TV, and whatever you do… don’t go into the mirror dimension.
4. Poltergeist III (1988)
After the ghostly mayhem of the Freeling family’s haunted house saga, the writers behind the third Poltergeist movie clearly thought: “You know what was missing? A haunted high-rise.” Yes, instead of suburbia and evil trees, this time we get skyscrapers, reflective surfaces, and creepy art installations. The idea? Take little Carol Anne (played again by the incredibly talented Heather O’Rourke) and plop her in a glass tower in Chicago with her aunt and uncle. You know, totally relatable horror. Unfortunately, mirrors just aren’t as scary as television static and corpses exploding out of your swimming pool.
This one is remembered for all the wrong reasons. The film is a tonal and narrative mess, with characters behaving like they’ve never seen a horror movie in their lives and a plot that makes you question your own sanity. Worst of all, it has a slapped-together ending due to the tragic death of Heather O’Rourke at just 12 years old from intestinal stenosis before the film was finished. Her heartbreaking passing is far more devastating than anything the actual movie offers.
Naturally, this led to a wave of “the Poltergeist curse” conspiracy theories — because nothing screams respect for the dead like blaming ghosts or the devil. Get a grip. Sometimes bad things happen, not because of spectral forces, but because the universe is unfair and Hollywood loves to milk a franchise until it’s bone dry. Poltergeist III is the worst of the bunch, and while it’s not without a few interesting visuals, it feels more like a haunted Goosebumps episode than a proper Poltergeist movie. And that’s being generous.
3. Poltergeist (2015)
In the age of unnecessary remakes that nobody asked for but Hollywood insisted on making anyway, 2015 gave us Poltergeist. You know, that one where you squinted at the poster and thought, “Wait, did they remake Poltergeist or is this just a Stranger Things teaser?” Spoiler: yes, they remade it, and no, it didn’t need to exist.
This version stars Sam Rockwell (who must’ve had bills to pay) and Rosemarie DeWitt as the parents of a brand new totally-not-the-Freeling family who move into a house that, yes, is built on an ancient burial ground because apparently no one learns anything in horror movies. Their youngest daughter Madison, aka the new Carol Anne, starts chatting with the static on the TV and then disappears into the ghost dimension with a cheery “They’re heeere” that feels more like an afterthought than an omen of doom.
The 2015 Poltergeist isn’t offensively bad, but it’s aggressively meh. It tries to modernize the original with drones and smartphones and CGI ghost hands, but it lacks any of the charm, atmosphere, or slow-building terror that made the 1982 film so iconic. Instead of iconic scenes, we get loud noises and spooky jump cuts that feel like they were copied and pasted from a Halloween store commercial.
If you’ve never seen the original, this might do the trick as a bland introduction to haunted real estate. But if you have seen the original, you’ll mostly just spend the runtime muttering, “Why are we doing this?” like you’re stuck on a Zoom call that could have been an email. Harmless, but utterly forgettable.
2. Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)
While Poltergeist II doesn’t reach the haunted heights of the original, it is still a surprisingly solid follow-up that gets a lot right. Most importantly, it introduces one of the creepiest men to ever wear a floppy black hat and smile like he knows what your soul tastes like.
We are of course talking about Reverend Henry Kane. The moment this walking skeleton in a preacher’s outfit strolls up and starts singing hymns in a voice that sounds like haunted wind chimes, you know the Freelings are in serious trouble. Played by Julian Beck, Kane doesn’t need ghost effects or CGI vomit to be terrifying. He just appears, grins, and suddenly your living room feels about fifteen degrees colder. It is no wonder he has gone down as one of the creepiest horror villains of the 80s.
This time around, the Freelings have moved into yet another house that is not nearly far enough from the last one. They are still being haunted by the consequences of building over ancient burial grounds, because apparently no one in this family has ever heard of moving to a high-rise apartment with strong Wi-Fi and zero spiritual activity. There is a possessed worm in a tequila bottle that turns into a monster, a mystical Native American spirit guide, and enough new-age spiritual nonsense to make you want to smudge your entire DVD collection with sage.
Sure, it gets a little weird and the plot starts tap-dancing into wild territory, but Poltergeist II is still a fun and freaky ride. The cast is back, the stakes are high, and the villain is one for the horror history books. Creepy preachers, psychic showdowns, and vomiting up evil creatures. What more could you want from a sequel?
1. Poltergeist
The first. The best. The one that made every child of the 80s terrified of their TV static and suspicious of any clown within a five-mile radius. When Poltergeist floated into cinemas in 1982, it felt like it should have come with a warning sticker and maybe a therapy voucher. Rated PG, but scarier than most R-rated horror flicks, Poltergeist was the movie that made you think twice about residential housing developments. Especially ones built on ancient burial grounds. Because yes, that’s the first rule in the Handbook of “How Not to Accidentally Move into a Haunted House.” Check the foundations, people.
The story is iconic. A nice suburban family starts experiencing strange activity in their house. At first it’s harmless fun, chairs moving and cutlery stacking itself, until the ghosts suddenly decide they want to keep the family’s youngest daughter, Carol Anne, and suck her through a television. That’s when things escalate very quickly. We’re talking possessed trees that try to eat children, clown dolls coming alive and strangling kids, and yes, a man hallucinating peeling his own face off in the bathroom mirror. It’s all wrapped up in a supernatural rollercoaster that still hits just as hard today.
The film’s production has sparked plenty of debate over the years, especially about who really directed it. Tobe Hooper, of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre fame, is officially credited but the movie feels and looks like pure Spielberg. With its sweeping score, glowing light, childlike wonder turned nightmare, and perfectly choreographed chaos, it’s hard not to smell that Spielbergian touch all over it. Cast and crew have since come forward saying Spielberg was basically running the show, and honestly, it makes sense. No shade on Hooper (he’s a horror icon), but Poltergeist fits more neatly alongside E.T. and Close Encounters than it does with Chainsaw Massacre or Lifeforce.
Bottom line: Poltergeist is essential Halloween viewing. It’s terrifying, it’s clever, and it’s oddly heartwarming too. If you’re introducing your kids to horror and want to scar them lovingly for life, this is the one. Just make sure to hide the clown dolls first.
