Ranking the Friday the 13th Movies – From Sackhead Jason to Space Madness
Ranking the Friday the 13th Movies — From Camp Crystal Lake to Space, and Every Machete Swing in Between
You know it’s going to be a good night when you hear those iconic whispers — ch-ch-ch ah-ah-ah — echoing through the woods. One of horror’s most infamous franchises, Friday the 13th has been slashing its way through teenagers, timelines, and common sense since 1980. It’s been a while since Jason last graced our screens (unless you count the endless lawsuits), but like the world’s angriest mummy’s boy, you just can’t keep him buried for long.
The Friday the 13th saga is pure horror junk food. Critics may say it’s just a cheap knockoff of Halloween, and honestly… they’re kind of right. But you know what? Sometimes a greasy burger tastes better than fine dining, and Jason delivers in buckets – buckets of blood, that is. Over the years, we’ve seen him drown, get resurrected, take Manhattan, visit space, and even square off against a burnt man with knife fingers. Subtle? Never. Entertaining? Always.
So, grab your sleeping bag, avoid any pre-marital activities, and for the love of all that is holy, don’t say “I’ll be right back.” From summer camp slashings to sci-fi stupidity, we’re heading back to Camp Crystal Lake to rank every single Friday the 13th film from worst to machete-swinging best.
12. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
How can one film be both the worst in the entire Friday the 13th series and yet have the best ending? Simple, make it Jason Goes to Hell. This was supposed to be the “final” chapter (again), but by the time the credits rolled, we were mostly wishing Jason had taken us with him.
The movie kicks off promisingly enough: Jason gets blown to bits by the FBI within the first ten minutes, and for a brief moment, you think, “Wow, they actually did it.” But then the film swerves so hard into body-snatcher territory that even David Cronenberg (who actually makes a cameo, poor man) probably wanted his name off the credits. Instead of a hulking killer in a hockey mask, we get random people possessed by Jason’s evil spirit after eating his still-beating heart. Yep. That’s the plot. Apparently, consuming Jason is like ordering demonic Uber Eats – one bite and you’re the new Jason. Bon appétit, I guess.
The rest of the movie plays out like a soap opera with gore, introducing random family members of Jason that we’ve never heard of in the previous eight films. Suddenly, he’s got a sister, a niece, and probably an uncle working in insurance somewhere. The highlight, and the only reason this movie isn’t at the bottom of cinema itself, is the ending. Out of nowhere, Freddy Krueger’s clawed glove bursts from the ground and drags Jason’s mask into Hell. Fans screamed, cheered, fainted, and immediately started writing crossover fan fiction that would take a decade to become reality.
So yes, Jason Goes to Hell is awful, confusing, and probably cursed by whatever studio executive thought “what if Jason didn’t actually appear in his own movie?” was a good idea. But that ending? Pure, machete-wielding gold.
11. Jason X (2001)
Ah yes, the one where Jason goes to space, because when you’ve run out of camp counsellors to stab, why not try astronauts? Jason X is what happens when a franchise runs out of ideas and decides to throw logic out the nearest airlock. After being cryogenically frozen on Earth (because apparently nobody thought to just chop him into pieces and scatter him around different continents), our favourite machete-wielding mama’s boy is discovered hundreds of years later by a group of future students on a space field trip. Naturally, they decide to bring him aboard their ship because, of course, they do. Nothing bad ever happens when you bring corpses on board in horror movies, right?
Once Jason thaws out, he immediately does what Jason does best, murders everyone in sight. But this time, it’s with lasers, space machetes, and a new upgrade that turns him into Uber Jason, a metallic killing machine that looks like a rejected Power Rangers villain. The plot makes absolutely no sense, the dialogue feels like it was written by an AI from 1999, and yet… it’s hard not to have fun with it.
We have to give credit where it’s due though: Jason X has arguably the single best kill in the entire series. Jason grabs a woman, dunks her head into liquid nitrogen, freezes it solid, and then smashes it like a bloody snow globe. It’s so gloriously stupid and over the top that you can’t help but applaud. The film is ridiculous from start to finish, but at least it knows it’s ridiculous.
Still, horror filmmakers everywhere, please, stop sending our killers into space. It never works. Pinhead didn’t need a spaceship. Michael Myers doesn’t need zero gravity. And Jason? He just needed a lake.
10. Friday The 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Get the lawyers on standby because this one’s guilty of false advertising in the first degree. You’d think a movie called Jason Takes Manhattan would feature Jason running amok in the Big Apple, slashing his way through taxis, subway cars, and possibly Times Square Elmo. Instead, for about 75 percent of the film, Jason is on… a boat. Yep. The world’s most iconic camp killer becomes the world’s most seasick passenger. A more accurate title would have been Jason Takes a Cruise or maybe Death on the Love Boat.
Apparently, Crystal Lake now has a direct waterway to Manhattan, because geography doesn’t matter when machetes are involved. The idea that you can hop on a boat from a small inland lake and somehow end up in New York is so insane it almost deserves respect. Almost. Instead, we get endless scenes of Jason stalking high school graduates on a yacht, because apparently Camp Crystal Lake Tourism was having a slow year.
When Jason finally does reach Manhattan (around the last 15 minutes, mind you), he immediately punches a street thug’s head clean off with one hit. It’s ridiculous. It’s dumb. And it’s the highlight of the entire film. The rest? Forgettable kills, wet sets, and one of the most pathetic “big city” showdowns ever put on film. Still, seeing Jason standing in Times Square surrounded by neon lights and confused New Yorkers does have a certain charm.
In the end, Jason Takes Manhattan is the cinematic equivalent of ordering a pizza and getting a box full of crusts – technically still pizza, but not what you wanted.
9. Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)
After the Final Chapter, everyone assumed Jason was finally gone for good. The man was dead, buried, and finished, the machete had been hung up. But the studio executives took one look at the box office numbers and basically said, “Final chapter? Never heard of her.” So, A New Beginning was born, a film that promised the return of Jason… only to give us an imposter in a knockoff hockey mask.
Yep, that’s right. Jason isn’t even in this one. Instead, we get some random guy pretending to be Jason, murdering everyone in sight, apparently inspired by a single tragic event. The only real clue? His hockey mask has blue markings instead of Jason’s iconic red ones. Because that’s the kind of detail horror fans notice when they’re too busy shouting at the screen, “Wait, who the hell is this guy?”
The film follows a now-teenaged Tommy Jarvis, last seen as the kid who killed Jason in The Final Chapter, as he struggles with trauma at a halfway house full of colourful weirdos. Naturally, those weirdos start dying at an alarming rate. The kills are decent, the nudity quota is through the roof, and the logic is completely out the window. But honestly, it’s kind of fun in that so-bad-it’s-good way.
In the grand scheme of things, A New Beginning feels like a weird fan film made after one too many beers. It’s confusing, sleazy, and completely unnecessary, but at least it gave us one of the most hilariously bad fake-outs in horror history. It may not be Jason… but it’s still a bloody okay time.
8. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
You’d think by now, people in horror movies would stop digging up corpses “just to make sure they’re dead.” But no – Jason Lives kicks off with Tommy Jarvis (now no longer Corey Feldman, but a guy who looks like Michael Dudikoff’s stunt double) doing exactly that. He heads back to Crystal Lake, which has been rebranded as Forest Green because apparently changing the name is all it takes to erase decades of brutal murder. Nice try, tourism board.
Tommy, still haunted by his run-ins with Jason, decides to dig up the corpse just to confirm the big guy’s gone for good. What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything. He jams a metal pole into Jason’s maggot-covered chest during a thunderstorm, and lightning strikes it like a horror movie defibrillator. Congratulations Tommy, you’ve just resurrected Camp Crystal Lake’s favourite killing machine. Somewhere, Dr. Frankenstein is slow clapping.
From there, Jason Lives fully embraces its stupidity. Jason walks around like an undead tank, slicing and dicing with zero hesitation while the sheriff, who seems to be powered entirely by caffeine and anger, refuses to believe Tommy’s warnings. Meanwhile, the sheriff’s daughter develops an uncomfortably quick crush on Tommy because nothing says romance like a grave-robbing felony.
The film starts with a parody of the James Bond opening (yes, Jason literally slashes through the screen like 007) and goes downhill from there. We get paintballers in the woods being picked off to cartoonish music, some fun kills, and the distinct feeling that the filmmakers decided to turn Jason into a heavy metal zombie superhero. It’s dumb. It’s loud. It’s ridiculous. And honestly… it’s kind of entertaining in the most brainless way possible.
If Jason Lives proved anything, it’s that logic truly has no place in this franchise, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
7. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
By the time we got to the seventh instalment, Jason had already been drowned, burned, stabbed, axed, hanged, blown up, and even resurrected by lightning – so of course, the logical next step was to pit him against a teenage girl with telekinetic powers. Yes, The New Blood is basically Carrie vs. Jason, and it’s every bit as insane as that sounds.
Jason starts the movie still chained at the bottom of Crystal Lake, right where Tommy Jarvis left him in Part VI. Enter Tina, a troubled young woman who, in a moment of emotional outburst, accidentally uses her psychic powers to resurrect everyone’s favourite masked murderer. Because in the Friday the 13th universe, grief therapy always ends in manslaughter.
What follows is pure 80s lunacy. Jason, now sporting arguably his best design of the series – rotting spine exposed, bones poking through, the mask cracked just enough to show his zombie mug – starts carving his way through yet another group of hapless teens. Meanwhile, Tina alternates between screaming, crying, and levitating furniture like she’s auditioning for Stranger Things.
The kills are solid, though most were heavily censored by the MPAA (thanks for nothing, fun police). Still, watching Jason face off against a telekinetic teenager is something you can’t unsee. There’s a scene where Tina throws sofas, plants, and even electrical wires at him like she’s in a paranormal IKEA commercial, and somehow Jason just shrugs it off.
The New Blood is gloriously dumb but visually fantastic. It’s got the best-looking Jason, the weirdest plot, and a finale that literally involves a psychic-powered dock explosion. By this point, logic was long dead and buried at the bottom of Crystal Lake, but the franchise was still somehow kicking, much like Jason himself.
6. Friday the 13th (2009)
Ah, the 2000s — that glorious decade when Hollywood decided the best way to “honour” classic horror was to smother it in shiny cinematography, glossy actors, and an unreasonable amount of slow-motion nudity. Friday the 13th (2009) was no exception. Produced by the same folks who rebooted The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this remake promised to bring Jason Voorhees roaring back to life. Instead, it gave us a fast, angry Jason who apparently moonlights as a home improvement expert, complete with underground tunnels, traps, and a perfectly organised murder bunker.
This reboot smashes together the first three original films like a blood-soaked smoothie. We get Mama Voorhees’ decapitation, Jason’s sack-head phase, and finally, his hockey mask debut, all within the first 20 minutes. It’s like the filmmakers said, “Let’s skip the build-up and get to the part where everyone dies.” Respect, honestly.
The movie features a group of walking clichés – the jock, the stoner, the rich douchebag, the girl-next-door – all of whom spend their brief screen time either having sex, looking for weed, or arguing about sex and weed. Jason, now faster and angrier than ever, dispatches them with brutal efficiency. The kills are gory and inventive, and there’s even a guy who gets shot with an arrow while wakeboarding, because apparently Jason’s been practicing his archery.
To the film’s credit, it’s not terrible. It’s slick, violent, and at least tries to modernise the franchise without completely insulting the fans. But it’s also soulless, like a perfectly toasted marshmallow with nothing gooey inside. The reboot did well enough financially, but the planned sequels never materialised, leaving this one-off as Jason’s last big-screen rampage.
Still, it’s not the worst way to spend 90 minutes. Just don’t expect much story. Expect boobs, blood, and a lot of running through the woods – which, to be fair, is pretty much what Friday the 13th has always been about.
5. Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)
Ah yes, the one where Jason finally gets his hockey mask, and cinema history is made. Before Part 3, our boy was just a bald, angry swamp man with mommy issues. But here, he finds a new identity, thanks to a prank-obsessed weirdo named Shelley, who might just be one of the most irritating characters in horror history. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you mixed a bad haircut with chronic attention-seeking, Shelley is your answer.
The plot is, as always, thinner than Crystal Lake’s safety regulations. A group of young people — none of whom appear to have jobs, personalities, or reasons to exist — head out to a farmhouse near the lake for a weekend of skinny-dipping and terrible life choices. They’re joined by Shelley, who spends most of his time pranking everyone until Jason finally does what the audience’s collective patience was begging for. Yes, Shelley’s death scene is oddly satisfying, and it’s his hockey mask that Jason takes, birthing a horror icon. So, thank you, Shelley, your death wasn’t in vain.
Because this was the early 80s, the filmmakers decided the best way to stand out was with 3D technology. That means an endless barrage of things being thrust directly at the camera, yo-yos, juggling balls, pitchforks, even a guy’s eyeball popping out like it’s auditioning for a theme park ride. In cinemas, it was probably fun. Watching it now without the glasses? It just looks like a bunch of people attacking the lens for no reason.
We also get a random biker gang who seem to have wandered in from another movie entirely, a barn that becomes Jason’s new murder playground, and some of the most gloriously awkward acting of the decade. Still, Friday the 13th Part 3 holds a weird charm. It’s the movie where Jason becomes the Jason – the mask, the machete, the unstoppable killing machine. The film may be a dumb 3D gimmick-fest, but it’s an essential slice of horror history… and a reminder that pranking your friends is a very bad idea if you live anywhere near Crystal Lake.
4. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Ah, the ultimate horror crossover event. The cinematic equivalent of your two drunk uncles starting a fight at a family wedding. After the ending of Jason Goes to Hell teased Freddy Krueger’s glove dragging Jason’s mask into the dirt, fans lost their collective minds. Two horror legends, one movie, what could possibly go wrong? Well… surprisingly, not as much as you’d think.
The plot, if you can call it that, goes like this: Freddy’s been forgotten. The kids of Springwood aren’t dreaming about him anymore, so he’s basically just an unemployed demon sulking in hell. Desperate to make a comeback, he impersonates Pamela Voorhees and manipulates Jason into heading back to Crystal Lake to start killing teens again, because apparently, nothing fuels fear like a machete-wielding zombie doing your dirty work.
Of course, things don’t go according to Freddy’s plan. Jason refuses to stop killing once the ball gets rolling, and Freddy gets jealous. Cue an hour and a half of glorious nonsense involving bad dialogue, nu-metal soundtracks, a Destiny’s Child member (yes, really), and an absolutely ludicrous final fight sequence that looks like a monster edition of WWE SmackDown.
The showdown between the two horror icons is exactly what fans wanted, over-the-top violence, ridiculous quips, and enough fake blood to flood Elm Street and Crystal Lake combined. As for who won? Well, Jason walks out of the lake holding Freddy’s decapitated head… but then Freddy winks at the camera like he’s Bugs Bunny wrapping up a cartoon short. So basically, it’s a draw – or maybe they’re both just too petty to die.
Freddy vs. Jason is dumb, loud, and completely ridiculous, but it’s also a total (kinda) blast. It’s a love letter to 80s horror excess wrapped in early 2000s cheese. Watching these two icons go toe-to-toe makes you forget (at least for 97 minutes) that both of their individual franchises were long past their prime. Who needs logic when you’ve got two horror legends punching each other through flaming cabins?
3. Friday the 13th (1980)
Ah yes, the original Friday the 13th, the movie that launched a thousand machetes and an entire generation of parents banning their kids from summer camp. Sean S. Cunningham, ever the opportunist, saw the massive success of Halloween and thought, “I’ll have some of that!” Before he even had a script, he took out a newspaper ad proclaiming Friday the 13th to be “the scariest movie ever made.” Bold move, considering he didn’t actually have a movie yet. But hey, marketing genius or blind luck, it worked.
What followed was a low-budget horror flick that, despite its simplicity (and complete lack of Jason as the killer), became an absolute phenomenon. The story revolves around a group of overly attractive, underqualified camp counsellors trying to reopen Camp Crystal Lake, a location that’s apparently cursed, since every time someone tries to open it, a bunch of people end up dead. As the bodies pile up, the counsellors do what all horror movie characters do best: split up, make terrible decisions, and engage in some mid-scream intimacy.
The killer is eventually revealed not to be Jason, but his mother, a sweet, sweater-wearing Mrs. Pamela Voorhees, played brilliantly by Betsy Palmer. Turns out she’s been avenging her drowned son for over twenty years, and she’s not too happy about teenagers getting frisky near his old stomping ground. Cue one of the most memorable final battles in horror history, complete with a decapitation that would make a guillotine blush.
Oh, and did we mention Kevin Bacon? Yes, a baby-faced Bacon appears here in one of his earliest roles, only to be rewarded with a post-coital arrow through the throat. That’ll teach him. Friday the 13th is cheesy, sleazy, and very much a product of its time, but it’s also endlessly entertaining. It’s got atmosphere, a creepy score, and one of the greatest jump scares in horror history, that final scene with young Jason leaping out of the lake.
It’s rough around the edges, sure, but without this humble little slasher, we wouldn’t have hockey masks, machetes, or a million imitators trying (and failing) to recreate its charm. Camp Crystal Lake may be closed for business, but the legend of Jason Voorhees was just getting started.
2. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Ah yes, The Final Chapter, the film that boldly promised to end the Friday the 13th series once and for all… only to be followed by eight more sequels, a crossover, and a remake. But we’ll forgive it, because honestly, this one’s actually pretty damn good.
Once again, a group of overly confident young people decide it’s a great idea to vacation near Camp Crystal Lake. Because clearly, the decades of gruesome murders weren’t enough of a deterrent. Among them is a young Crispin Glover, who spends most of the movie wondering if he’s a “dead fuck.” Spoiler: he’s not, at least not until Jason shows up. Glover also treats us to one of the most delightfully awkward dance sequences in cinematic history, part disco fever, part full-body exorcism. It’s pure art.
Next door, we meet the Jarvis family, including horror-obsessed wunderkind Tommy Jarvis, played by pint-sized legend Corey Feldman. Tommy’s hobbies include building disturbingly realistic monster masks and making you wonder why this kid hasn’t been flagged by local authorities. When Jason inevitably escapes from the hospital (after casually murdering a few unlucky medical staff along the way), he sets his sights on the new party in town, and everyone in attendance learns a valuable lesson about safe sex and staying indoors.
The kills in The Final Chapter are some of the best in the franchise, gleefully gory, well-paced, and helped by some fantastic effects from FX wizard Tom Savini. It’s brutal, bloody, and surprisingly well-made for a movie about a guy in a hockey mask chopping up teenagers. The film also gives us one of the more satisfying endings in the series, as young Tommy Jarvis defeats Jason by shaving his head (because obviously) and pretending to be a younger version of him. Then, in a scene that still shocks, Tommy goes full psycho and hacks Jason to death, cementing himself as the franchise’s first true hero.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter isn’t high art, but it’s everything you want from a Friday flick — blood, boobs, bad dancing, and a machete to the face. If this had truly been the end, it would’ve been a perfect send-off. But of course, you can’t keep a good slasher down, especially one who’s been resurrected more times than Dracula.
1. Friday the 13th Part II (1981)
Now, this might ruffle a few hockey masks, but we’re saying it loud and proud, Part II is the best of the Friday the 13th bunch. That’s right. No mask, no undead superhuman strength, no space travel, just a sack-headed psycho and the best Final Girl the series ever gave us.
We start with a bit of a recap, because apparently audiences in 1981 had the memory of a goldfish. Alice, our plucky survivor from the original film, is back, only briefly, though, because she gets an ice pick to the temple within the first ten minutes. Brutal. So long, Alice, we barely knew ye. Cut to five years later, and a new bunch of camp counsellors (read: future corpses) are setting up shop right next door to the infamous Camp Crystal Lake, because people in this franchise have never heard of reading the news or basic self-preservation.
And then there’s Jason. Yep, our boy’s all grown up and very much alive. He’s swapped the clean lake water for swamp muck, the silent child demeanor for murderous rage, and the hockey mask for a burlap sack with one eyehole. It’s not quite the iconic look yet, but honestly, it works, like a deranged scarecrow with mommy issues. And speaking of mommy issues, Jason still hasn’t quite gotten over the whole “decapitated mother” thing. Who could blame him?
The kills in Part II are bigger, nastier, and more inventive, including an infamous double impalement that somehow made it past the censors. But what really makes this one shine is our final girl, Ginny (Amy Steel). She’s smart, resourceful, and even uses Jason’s mummy obsession against him, pulling on Pamela Voorhees’ old sweater and pretending to be dear old mum. It’s one of the most bonkers yet brilliant horror moments of the 80s, and it totally works.
By the time the credits roll, Ginny’s survived, Jason’s seemingly dead (ha, yeah right), and the Friday the 13th franchise is officially solidified as horror royalty. Part II has the best balance of scares, suspense, and unintentional comedy, and before Jason turned into a teleporting zombie, this was him at his most human… and most terrifying.
So yes, no hockey mask, no problem. Sackhead Jason is king, and Ginny is queen. Long live the camp, long live the chaos, and long live the horny counsellors who never seem to learn a damn thing.
